My Heart Throb

, Rana's Space

Rana Safvi رعنا राना ‏@iamrana  18 Mar 2012

Happy waaaali birthday to my heartthrob from childhood to date #ShashiKapoor 

(this post written in 2012)

Harleen is a crazy fan of Irfan Pathan and sends him messages everyday. I once remember telling her that had Shashi Kapoor been on twitter I would be sending him messages too everyday.This year on 18th March, on Shashi Kapoor’s birthday, Harleen wished me a happy birthday and very soon many others, who confused it with my birthday, were wishing me too.

Today as soon as the Dada Sahab Phalke award was announced I started getting congratulatory phone calls and messages from friends and family who know how deep my crush on my hero is!

Friends have asked me to blog on him but I am strangely tongue tied. I normally write in one go and just let the words take me wherever they go. Today all I can see is a crooked smile and a hero struck young girl.

 (Please excuse if it sounds incoherent, as a friend Aamir, said, aaj Khush tau bahut hongi aap!.)

I was all of 12 years old when I saw Haseena Maan Jaayegi and life was be never the same again.

A Greek God, in fact two as he had a double role, had burst into my life and taken possession  in my heart with his charm.

My mother understood what I was going through because she had had a somewhat similar crush on Prithviraj  Kapoor!

Those were the days we hardly got to see many movies and I don’t remember  which was the next movie of his I saw.

I remember going to see Sharmilee and coming home in a daze.

I saw many of his movies after that. He was the stuff that a young girl’s hero is made of. Even today my heart goes putter patter when I see his pictures.

Very soon  I started keeping a scrapbook of his photographs each with a personal caption.

That stayed with me for years and eventually  got lost in my parents innumerable  transfers. I regret not taking it with me when I got married, instead of leaving it behind. It wasn’t as if my husband didn’t know or appreciate my crush.

Luckily my prized possession  occupied the first page of my own photo album.

The year was 1970. Annie Baji (celebrated author Quratulain  Hyder,  an aunt) had come to visit us in Lucknow and witnessed my crush. In those days she used to work in Illustrated  Weekly of India and used to sometimes review movies. She promised to send me an autographed photograph.

I never thought a famous person like her would remember, but remember  she did and soon I got THE promised photo.

Then came 1977/78. Shashi Kapoor was shooting for Junoon in Malihabad and Sara Zaidi was doing the art design.

I jumped at the offer to go for the shooting.

I had read the line

“Be still my beating heart”

But experienced it only when I came face to face with Shashi Kapoor for the first time. Nothing had prepared me for his extreme good looks.  His eyelashes were longer than the false ones girls use nowadays and he was charming beyond belief. Two days went in a daze and I still remember them almost 40 years later.

The only movie I could not bear to see was In Custody because he looked so unwell and that was almost like a physical pain for me.

Once I heard he was going to be homeless as he had lost all his money in some production. That was the second time I felt the same pain.

I am so glad he got over that.

So glad that Sanjana helped him realise his dream of building the Prithvi Theatre

and just wish him health, peace and happiness.

I remember  someone once saying He is old and fat now and I replied, so am I!

Congratulations  on the Dadasaheb Phalke Award to all his well wishers and loved ones.

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